I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
