yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
