I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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