maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
