His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
