you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
