haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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