yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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