Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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