We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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