I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize