So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
