Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
