no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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