help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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