It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
