Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
