If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
