sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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