So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
