why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize