Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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