I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
