why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
