she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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