do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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