I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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