Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The police scanner is talking about you again....
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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