I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
