You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
