This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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