She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
