it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You're like the curious george of whores
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
