it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
