I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
