you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
