My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The Olympian is in my bed
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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