take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
high people should be assigned attendants
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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