if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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