I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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