i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
