i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
