ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
