So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
