Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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