I just saw a hot homeless man
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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