come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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