Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
