i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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