True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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