Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it's like iHOP with fire
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
