he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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