# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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