Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
