the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
