Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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