U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
