I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
