I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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