you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
