You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
