At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
