I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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