I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
