Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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