So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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